Post by Pearl on Jan 2, 2013 20:40:06 GMT -5
Thought I’d share the story behind this picture of my husband and I. This was taken on New Year’s Eve at a function where we ended up sitting at a table with people we had never met before. About halfway through the evening we mentioned our five children at home. The couple sitting opposite us acted surprised that we had children together. They asked how long we had been married and when we told them it will be nineteen years soon, the husband shook his head and chuckled. He had presumed we were newly weds! His wife admitted she had wondered if we were newly married too. I asked why and the man said, “It’s the way you act together, how you look at each other.” They took a picture of us the “not so newly married couple” to remember the event by and I asked if they would text it to my husband’s phone. We seldom get pictures of just us as a couple.
I thought a lot about their reaction as I drifted off to sleep in the early hours of New Year‘s morning. My husband and I do not act like we are all over each other when we are out, but yes, if we are next to each other we usually hold hands or touch in some way. It’s a habit we’ve formed. We still gravitate to one another when we are in a group of people, we enjoy conversations with others but never separate completely in a social gathering for the entire time. Who could be more important to me than him?
There are many reasons we could have ended up like the typical stereotype of a bored and passionless, long time married couple. We’ve gone through the same issues that most married couples have to face that threaten passion and intimacy. I’m 41, my husband is 56 - five children - challenging years - health concerns - financial stressors - so many so called ‘valid excuses’ to just get used to each other and lose the spark - drift into relational complacency. Thank God we haven’t but that’s not because our strong bond has come more naturally than with other couples, it is something we choose to cultivate every day. The Trim Healthy Mama approach is all about replacing health destructive habits with fun, easy, slimming and healthy ones. It is doable but you must concentrate on the verb and “do.” It’s the same with your marriage relationship. A close bond doesn’t happen on its own. You change destructive habits with better, fun ones day by day and yes, the results are fantastic!
Have you read the “Foxy Mama” chapter yet in the THM book? Please do. Facebook is not the place to get detailed about it but let me challenge you with this: Next time you see your husband today, walk over to him and give him a hug. There’s a hug and then there’s a HUG. Don’t be quick about it… linger. Fill your hug with love, promise and meaning. Let your husband know that he is wonderful to you through this hug. No, he’s not perfect, but he doesn’t have to be perfect to deserve your hug. He’s your husband, he is precious so you gladly give it to him. This is one little daily habit you can incorporate to replace a more negative one. Hug like a newly wed!
Pearl